Mothering Christian

On the way to summer school, the first day:

Christian: "I'm so excited, I could just cry."

Me (naive): "Oh, good!"

Christian: "I'm not excited. I'm housebroken!"

Christian: "What does housebroken mean?"

Me (covering mouth): "It means you know to go outside to go to the bathroom if you are a dog. You are not housebroken, honey, you are heartbroken."

In The School:

Christian: "I'm so embarrassed."

Christian: "What does embarrassed mean?"

Me: "It means you feel funny."

Christian: "I'm so embarrassed."

At Baseball:

Christian: "We always win! I hate winning! Why do we always have to win!"

Christian (at homeplate): "Do you want me to get a homerun, Mommy?"

Me: "Sure."

Christian: "Well, I'm not going to!"

Christian (at homeplate again): "Do you want me to get a homerun, Mommy?"

Me: "I just want you to have fun, honey."

Christian: "Well, I'm not having fun!"

At Bath Time:

Christian: "Can I go pee, Mommy?"

Me: "Yes."

Christian: "Tommy says he will spank me if I go pee."

Me: "Are you going to go in the bathtub?"

Christian: "No, the potty."

Me: "Go head."

Tommy: "I'm going to spank you Christian!"

Me: "No you are not."

Christian stands in front of the potty and, yes, still manages to pee on my foot.